14 days and counting.

So last night I ovulated… How do I know this you ask? Well 36 hours before that I had a shot of noveral which makes you ovulate in 36 hours… thats how! So Anyway. That means that I will know in 14 days if it worked and we have our little baby. I am so excited and nervous about it I could just jump around. I am very hopeful that this is the month and this is going to work. I go for more blood work on Wednesday. I think it will be amazing if this works, I will know what we did the entire day before we conceived What we had for dinner what we watched on tv. I just can’t wait I keep thinking about how our life will be in 9 months. I can imagine it. It will be near thanksgiving and we will have so much to be thankful for. I can picture next summer when we have a 5 month old. The zoo trips with my nieces but this year they will have a cousin. I just can’t wait. I told hubby last night how excited I am and how I know this is the month and he said now don’t get to ahead of yourself this might not be the month. And I told him that I believe 100% that it is the month but if he turns out to be right then he better be ready to catch me when I fall. I told him I am going to crash if hes right. But I really don’t think that we will have to deal with that. I know in my heart that its going to work.

Thanks for reading. Pray for us please.

hsg

So yesturday I had my hsg test. Everything is normal and healthy. So hopefullly that means this is the month. And just as a side note. if anyone has to have a hsg test don’t worry about it. I was so totally freaked out it wasn’t even funny. It was nothing. kinda like a yearly but a lot cooler because i got to see everything. So good news so far. no trouble with my stuff and hubbys boys are good.

update

So far everything is going just as it should. My hsg turned out great everything is normal. then yesterday we went to have an ultrasound and everything else hasdeveloped just as it should and so we took our first shot of noveral. which hopefully that means that tonight is the night. I will ovulate and hopefully that means we will have a positive test in a few weeks. So for now everything is right on track. I feel more hopeful this month than it ever has. All our ducks are in a row right now. Lets keep our fingers crossed the next thing we have to do is I have to get more blood work done on the 19th…. so that is for progestron levels to make sure they are were they need to be. Hopefully they will because I don’t want to have to keep taking it the whole time we are pregnant. that would be no fun. But if we have to it will all be worth it. I will go thourgh just about anything to have a baby. I just keep praying that this works. Like I told hubby if we get one baby then I will be fine and never have to have another. We will see what God has in store. Keep us in your prayers.

ttc update time….

okay so hubby got his test done. He is above normal! Isn’t that great. So now this is totally 100% my fault. Part of me is glad because I knew that I was part of the problem but now that I am the only problem it makes it a little easier to fix hopefully!  So it looks like provera is working….. it really sucks but its working. So  this week I have been totally sick. I have had a very nauseous stomach a few really bad headaches and here’s the best part…. dizziness! This sucks but if it gets us a baby then it will all be worth it. I am having a hsg test next Tuesday. i am a little nervous about that, but my big sis said that it isn’t terrible. and her and my mom are taking me so it will kinda be a girls day out. if that’s possible. maybe we will have fun. And hopefully this will give us the fertility boost we need! I am praying everyday that this works. This is the month. And this is the first month that i have other people praying to. Which makes me feel so much better. I am at a greater peace this month with this situation than i have been since we started. I really think it has to do with finally getting it out there.  and knowing that now our family and friends are praying for us.

 

Today I found out that my best friend Nicole’s daughter S has a friend who just turned 14 and is pregnant…. this is so hard for me to deal with! its hard for me when its an adult woman, just about anyone I see or hear about that is pregnant or just had a baby makes me angry and sad at the same time. Its so hard to deal with sometimes. I will see someone in town and notice her belly and then I will find myself putting my had on my stomach. It makes me so sad and I feel so empty inside. Sooner or later it will be my turn it has to! I need it more than I could have ever imagined.  Keep us in your prayers…. thanks.

brrr. it is cold outside

So I have been very neglectful on here. Life has just been… well… life. Busy busy busy. But anyway things are going okay. The provera is making me sick to my stomach pretty much all day long. But I only have on more left. So its almost done! I am praying that this is the last month! I really want to get pregnant. It would stop so much of my insanity. And yet in its own way start a whole new insanity. But that unlike this would be welcomed with warm loving open arms. Workouts are going good. we joined mobile fit and I think it is really going to keep me motivated. the girlies have been here since sunday and I love it. It has been a ton of fun. They are going home tonight though. We are having dinner with J and his best friend adam. It will be fun. They called and wanted to know if I could make them dinner and play some games. I love game nights. It is always so much fun! I haven’t since my best friends at all since friday. It makes me sad. I just don’t know where the time goes. We need a date night and so maybe we will plan one for this week. Money is a little tighter than normal this week, but we should be good by thrusday! I hate snow days. One or two are fine but I havent had a full weeks pay since before christmas. oh well at least I know God has it in his hands and we will be provided for.

no real news….

Nothing to exciting has been happening here. I have after almost 3 years finally really started scrap-booking our wedding day. It is more fun now then it was then I think to look back on that perfect day. I have been remembering things that normally I don’t! So its been a ton of fun and very addicting. But hey its not like its something bad for my health.

Workout status update…..

Still going good for most weeks since we started we have went 3 or more days a week ( with the exception of Christmas which resulted in very few visits to the gym) but we are totally back in to it. So with that said I have now lost 9 lbs… I am super excited about this. We are joining this thing they call Mobile fit which is kinda like a computer personal trainer…. There’s a real person behind it and you check in with her or him every once in a while to make sure your getting as much out of it as possible. But basically you are on your own with the computer…. You tell it what you want to do and it tells you what you need to do to achieve it. You update it weekly with what you have done and where your at physically. Then it will change accordingly. So dh started this last week and I was waiting to see how it is and so I am going to start it this week i think! I think it will prove to be a very helpful tool. Another good reason for joing our gym.

some of the best news yet!

One of my nieces will be officially and legally ours. I am so excited. In just a few days we will be celebrating her adoption. The other one should be final in the next few months. So life is good in those areas. God has done amazing things. I can’t believe how much they act just like my sister. I kinda always wondered if in the end the kids would end up like our family or there bio family…. Turns out God knew exactly where they were ending up and so they act just like our family…..

On the ttc front.  I started hormones last night…. Not looking forward to that. mood swings suck but so do hot flashes. It will all be worth it in the end when we have our little baby. This doctor seems to think that its just a matter of timing. We are doing test which makes me feel a little better. It  is so crazy to me how many people take having kids for granted or they even are upset because they are pregnant. I would die to have a baby. Hopefully this is the month for that to happen.

Well I think that is it for now. get back soon.

long time no update.

Sorry you all. Its been a while. i have just been totally busy. life seems a little out of hand right now. i am always running here or there. anyway. life for the most part is going really good. we went to see the reproductive specialist on tuesday…. i am really hopeful! So far everything he really wants to do is covered by our insurance so I am keeping my fingers crossed that this works. I think I am going to start the hormones he wants me to start. I am totally not looking forward to that I am just now getting back to normal. So here comes the emotional roller coaster again. We are still working out. We are going tonight. So far I haven’t noticed anything size wise but I think I have lost about 9 lbs. So thats a start right. So heres to the new year. I promise to get back on the blogging train now!

one long weekend

So this weekend was a long and a very busy one. Which I kinda figured it would be. The weekend started with dinner for my bday with my in laws. We were suppose to go out but then they called and wanted to do pizza instead. So okay that’s fine. We get there with pizza in hand. All is good. We find out his little brother (J is 22ish) Has just been lay-ed off. Which really sucks. But hubby is talking to his dad and he is going on and on about how his current job is screwing with him (which coincidentally has happened with every job he has had in the last 3 years) He claims they aren’t being fair to him so he is quiting. This mind you is no time to quit any job. They are a few payments away form losing there house. They have no money. So if you are quiting then you are selfish. But the truth is he more than likely got fired because he is a drunk and can’t hold a job anymore. Which is what has happened for the last 3 years. But anyway. They are broke. Then he gives us 20$ towards the pizza, when my mother in law gets home his little brother A asks for some money so he can get gas for the car and she says I have 35$ to my name….. then looks down at the 20 and says who’s is than fnl says it was mine but its theirs now. then she looked at A and says well i have 15$ to my name. We felt like crap taking the money, but they wouldn’t take it back so why then did we have dinner. I could have cooked or we could have skipped it all together. What do you do.

 So anyway. Saturday i go to my sisters to hang out with my nieces, it was GREAT. I had  a lot of fun with them! My sister got a wii for Christmas. It was so much fun. I really want one. but right now it is just not possible. Maybe later. So dh and I stay the night there and on Sunday morning he goes to a football game 3 hours away and my sister, mom and two nieces head back to my house and then go to my cousins for our annual Christmas cooking day. It was fun for the most part, but this year was a little stressful because one of the kids I watch mom was there and she was talking to someone else about how she is going to put her in preschool next year…. blah blah blah. And I don’t know if she knew if I heard her or not, but she hasn’t even mentioned this to me. Do these people not realize that I need the money to. At least give me a heads up. I am totally stressed out. She is just really taking advantage of me and it kinda makes me mad. This is totally normal for her shes been doing it the last 3 years. why am I surprised. So anyway this was stressing me out but I was playing with the girls and that made it standable. Then as the day came to a close my family gets in a fight about when to have Christmas next year…… seriously. I was just like come on figure it out and don’t fight. Still no set time, so now we wait and I am sure that Christmas day this year will be the same. Someone will bring it up and again fight about it. Fun Fun. Finally the day was done and I went to my moms and we had pizza played wii and hung out with my family. Ended out being a good night. today I only have one kid so I get to get everything ready for Christmas and hopefully get the house in order.  So I need to get off here and clean. TTYL

good times

So yesterday I had a good workout which made me feel better. If I haven’t said anything. I hate winter. It is so depressing….. I thought people who were depressed at winter time were crazy. But the last two years it has been the same way. I got really blah feeling. So last year I started tanning and that appeared to help but I got a rash because I am allergic to the sun and apparently uv bulbs as well. So this year I was going to start tanning before I lost my summer tan, but I didn’t so now I just have to decide if the blah feeling is worse than the itching feeling that comes with tanning…. So now I am weighing the options. I am hoping that maybe working out will help and it did yesterday but before that I was feeling totally blah and sad. So we will see what happens. I am working out early in the morning, so that should be good.

So now what…

So we are going on our 3rd week working out. It really feels good when we are there and afterwards. but getting there the last two times has seemed more like a chore than fun. So I am thinking about signing up for what they call moblie fit.  I am also thinking about joining a women’s workout class for Tuesday and Thursday nights. I am just 100% sick of beining the fat girl. I want to be healthy for once in my life. It seems that I am one extreme to the other I am either starving myself skinny or I am super Fat. So here we go I am getting healthy now. And for good. Good news is that dh and I are getting along so great it kinda weird. I know that we were always happy but we also kinda were going though a rough spot since we started ttc. And clomid sent me in to a tailspin of mood swings and anger issues with just about everyone I know. So it could be that our life is just getting back to normal since it has been almost 2 months since I had to take clomid or it could be that working out together is bring us closer together than I thought was possible. But anyway its time to get the kids up from nap so I gotta go for now.